You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
