My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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