I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
