We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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