put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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