They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize