I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
