I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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