I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
