Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
