I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize