You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
