There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
