well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
