I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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