Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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