you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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