She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
