don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
