Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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