I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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