Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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