She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
