I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
