I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
