Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
