I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
