What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
