it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
