you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize