This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
