Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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