Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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