is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
