you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize