She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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