So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
