I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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