I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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