respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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