Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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