I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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