im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
