I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
