My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
