It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize