We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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