it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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