If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
