why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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