there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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