we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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