he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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