I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
