Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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