new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
