based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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