We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
