I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
