So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
