I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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