I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
