haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
